I'd wear matching sweaters with you
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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