i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
