Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
