Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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