if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
