i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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