um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
