Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
