i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
