her vagine was all disorganized.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
