P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
