when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
