More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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