Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
