your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
