Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
