Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
