I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Randomize
