You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
