my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
