Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
