He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It's never too late to be topless.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am available for nakedness
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
