Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
