The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
