Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
