I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
