Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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