im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
