I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
