I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
