her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
