I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
