i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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