What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
