Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
