Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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