You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
