so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
