I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
