you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
