we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
