Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
