is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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