He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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