Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
