i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
