I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
