I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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