how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
