??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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