I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
